


Not a Deep Breath

by SharpestScalpel



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-21
Updated: 2011-10-21
Packaged: 2017-10-24 19:57:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/267275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharpestScalpel/pseuds/SharpestScalpel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik is a troll. Charles enjoys acting. Moira will never attempt to teach CPR again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not a Deep Breath

**Author's Note:**

> From a kink meme prompt: http://xmen-firstkink.livejournal.com/5215.html?thread=5416799#t5416799
> 
>  _A comedic take on the CPR prompt earlier._
> 
>  _Moira is trying to teach the kids basic first aid, which includes CPR. She asks Charles to play the "victim" and for Erik to play the "rescuer" while Moira is lecturing. Only, Erik keeps being a troll and trying to make out with Charles instead, who gets flustered ("not in front of the kids!") while Moira is left to facepalm._

"Okay, kids," Moira raised her voice enough to be heard over the noise that seemed to follow the small group of powered teens everywhere. "Your breathing and heartbeat can stop for a number of reasons. However, death does not have to be the outcome. Cardiopulmonary resuscitation, known commonly as CPR, can save your life - or the life of your teammate."

Raven rolled her eyes. Of course she did. Moira ignored her. She motioned for Charles to take his agreed upon place.

"Today, I'll be playing the victim." He hopped up onto the empty desk top and stretched out on his back - and looked as ridiculous as he'd sounded. At least Moira had their attention now.

"All right, now, there's some danger of rib fracture, so I'm going to demonstrate this carefully. If you're called upon to perform CPR, remember, it's better to have a cracked rib than be dead." Moira considered the desk - in a real life situation, she'd either be kneeling beside the victim or straddling them. Neither actually seemed advisable on the desk top. She should have had Charles lay on the floor.

"If you don't mind," and the regal tone implied quite clearly that even if Moira did mind that wasn't actually important to the speaker, "I'll take on the role of caregiver since you seem to be having difficulties." Erik Lensherr's sardonic grin made her want to slap him silly. But Moira nodded. Not in front of the children. And Charles's pleased smile was hard to ignore.

Moira waved a hand. They were going to do what they wanted to do anyway.

"First determine if the person is unconscious. Shout 'Are you okay?' and make sure someone is getting help." She nodded at Lensherr.

The man prodded at Charles's side until the supposed victim convulsed with laughter. Ticklish. Oh, joy.

Moira soldiered on. "Make sure your victim is laying flat on his or her back." Hank's eyes went wide and Moira determinedly did not look back to see how Lensherr had made sure of that. "Open the person's airway by lifting up gently on their chin and pressing down on their forehead." It was quiet, too quiet behind her. When she turned, though, it was only Lensherr cupping Charles's chin with what... was that tenderness? Was the man even capable of tenderness? "If someone has suffered a neck injury, do not tilt their head. Just use the chin lift."

Sean looked like he was going to raise his hand but didn't follow through on the motion. She'd make sure his question had been answered at the end then. The sooner they got this over with, the better.

"Once you've got the airway open, see if the victim is breathing." Lensherr leaned down, closer than he needed to. "What are you doing?"

He bared his teeth at her, all shark bite. "The skin of the neck is more sensitive than the hands. If he's breathing, I should be able to feel it there."

That... okay, that was actually logical. She narrowed her eyes at him. Charles was very still and his eyes were closed. Was he playing the victim or was Lensherr freaking him out? "Charles, you okay there?"

He blinked a bit, then smiled back at her. "Oh, quite good, quite good. Acting is a delightful passtime, don't you think."

This time Moira wanted to roll her eyes. She restrained herself. "Take five to ten seconds to verfiy normal breathing. If the victim isn't breathing on their own, you need to begin rescue breathing."

Lensherr hadn't really straightned up.

"For rescue breathing, you need to inhale normally, not deeply. You're not blowing up a party balloon, people." She eyed Lensherr but he followed instructions. He seemed comfortable, like he'd done this before. Moira tried to relax. "Form an air-tight seal with your mouth on the victims mouth and immediately give two full breaths."

Hank's eyes weren't the only wide eyes.

That... that was not proper rescue breathing technique. Not at all. Angel hooted, her laughter a bright spot in the day.

She needed a new job.


End file.
